


Late Night Thoughts

by Kilosaki



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F, F/M, Heather mcnamera is dying, I was venting when i wrote this OKAY, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Original Character Death(s), Other, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, This isnt good, at all, im so so sorry, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 06:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9536861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kilosaki/pseuds/Kilosaki
Summary: McNamera balled up her fists.  Even though it'd been months since her best friends death, she still hadn't moved on.  She leaned over the sink and stared into the bathroom mirror.  She didn't know what she was looking for.  Hope, maybe.  Any signs of hapiness in her face was long gone by now; washed away by countless days of exhaustion from dealing with Heather Duke, who had stepped up into Heather Chandlers place as top bitch.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So rn the ending sucks and im sorry

Heather McNamera had wished she could have prevented her best friends death.  Wished she could have knew what was bothering her.  Wished she'd could have noticed her slowly slipping through the cracks and helped her through it, thus preventing her suicide.  
  
But she handn't.  
  
Heather Chandler was dead.  And there was nothing she could do to change that.  
  
She still remembered the day they found her body.  It was all over the news; 'Local teen found dead in her home'  Murder was easily ruled out.  She had left a note and everything.  She died, knowing no one had knew the real her.  Heather still remembered Duke calling her later that night, she didn't have a single trace of sympathy in her voice.  She sounded...Confident, even when she had just been informed her best friend (or what seemed like it) had killed herself.  The whole of Westurburg High had gotten over far too soon.  A few interviews, a couple of  ralleys full of what barely passed as mourning.  But after a week or two, Heather was old news.  
  
McNamera balled up her fists.  Even though it'd been months since her best friends death, she still hadn't moved on.  She leaned over the sink and stared into the bathroom mirror.  She didn't know what she was looking for.  Hope, maybe.  Any signs of hapiness in her face was long gone by now; washed away by countless days of exhaustion from dealing with Heather Duke, who had stepped up into Heather Chandlers place as top bitch.  
  
She continued to gaze at her refelction.  Sometimes she'd get lost in it.  Just an hour or two of staring at the worthless whore in front of her.  She cringed.  Veronica would've snapped at her if she knew how Heather was treating herself.  
  
Breifly, Heather smiled.  
She caught that sign of life in the mirror and stopped.  
  
Veronica was there for her in the worst of times.  On the days she thought she'd actually kill herself.  When she was alive, Veronica was the only person who was nice to her, made her feel wanted.  Until J.D. went into a rampage and drove her to suicide.  
  
Heather noticed her reflection again.  Hot tears were rolling down her face.  She made no attempt to wipe them away.  
  
The story goes that Jason Dean snuck into Veronicas house.  She had come upstairs and locked herself in her closet to hide.  He came up with a plan to bomb the school and paint it as a mass suicide; he'd even gotten signatures for it.  Of course, no one knew what they were signing.  While J.D. was busy ranting about his 'genious' plan, Veronica had hung herself with a jumprope in her closet.  Suppose she'd had enough.  Heather didn't blame her.   
  
She closed her eyes.  
  
The day Jason brought the bomb to school, a staff member caught him in the boiler room and he was arrested.  He admitted to everything when he was brought into custody.  He even told them about how Veronica killed herself a room away from him.  He said it straight to her parents' faces in court.  So the rumor was confirmed.  Jason Dean had led Veronica Sawyer to suicide.  
  
When she opened her eyes.  Heather saw nothing but a dumb blonde with no ambition.  No reason.  Not one purpose to bind herself to the earth.  She sighed and opened the mirror.  
  
_Veronica gave her ambition._  
  
In the mirror lay a bottle of sleeping pills.  Heather picked them up and closed it.  
  
_Veronica was her reason._  
  
She lazily attempted to open the bottle, but to no avail.  
  
_Veronica was the only thing that bound her to the earth._  
  
She twisted the cap again.  This time desperate.  
  
_Veronica was the only person that made life worth-while._  
  
The bottle opened with a pop, and Heather spilled its contents into her hand, eying the white pills.  There were more tears now, choked out sobs she tried to keep quiet.  Wouldn't want to wake up her mother, would she?  She looked into the mirror for what may be the last time.

In front of her was a desperate girl with messed up hair and ruined make up.  Her clothes were practically hanging off of her thin, lanky body.  Her skinny arms and legs were scattered with cuts and bruises, the ones Heather Duke riduculed her about.

 _"You're not going to get any attention like that, Heather.  Face it, you're old news.  Get over yourself."_  
  
She instinctively balled her fists and hugged herself, still holding a firm grip on the pills.  
  
She isn't going to have to deal with Duke's bullshit anymore.  
  
She moved her arms stiffly in front of her.  A few fresh cuts from earlier had stopped bleeding, good.  Her mother wouldn't have to clean up anything.  Heather took a shakey breath and held the pills up to her lips.

•○•  
  
Heather Chandler had died alone, no one knew what she was feeling until it was too late.  
  
Veronica Sawyer died with her ex boyfriend a door away from her.  He played off her suicide like it was no big deal.  
  
And now Heather McNamera had joined them.  She died alone, her mom finding her body the next morning.  They rushed her to the hospital, but it was too late.

  
Heather Chandler had died alone, no one knew what she was feeling until it was too late.  
  
Veronica Sawyer died with her ex boyfriend a door away from her.  He played off her suicide like it was no big deal.  
  
And now Heather McNamera had joined them.  She died alone, her mom finding her body the next morning.  They rushed her to the hospital, but it was too late.  
  
Heather was gone.  The waves in the ocean calmed as she fell over the side of her lifeboat.  Away from everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Terrible ending until I can finish this.


End file.
